Traveling Buddies
Stacy & I. Andrew Nathan and Stace Marie. Hubby & Wife. Best Pals. All of those things before we embarked on our world-wide journey and all of those things still.
Its just...well, different some how. Don't get the wrong idea, its great. Different can be good too ya know. Traveling together on a 2 week vacation can be trying at times as I'm sure we all can confess too. So many decisions to make, details to plan for. A sun burn here gets us cranky, maybe worries about work back home get us riled, maybe someone wants to sleep in and the other wants to watch the Lakers get killed by 40 points in the Finals. You know what I'm saying. With all the good also come the tricky.
Its the tricky that make us work and make us think and make us concede and hopefully urge us to compromise. After all, if things were always pie in the sky great, life would be mundane perhaps, uninteresting? We all love it when things go our way of course, its fun! But how do we grow when that is always the case. What do we learn when we are not challenged by life? We are often best judged (I don't want to use that word, but) in difficult situations. "When the going gets tough, the tough get going". As for Stacy and my extended travels go, we have had unbelievable adventures and many moments of sheer bliss and excitement together. It has been remarkable and wonderful to do this now, in the way we have and to the places we've been.
As far as memories go for me, however, I may end up 20 years down the road, remembering this trip for what it did for my growth as a husband and friend of my wife. We are 24/7 together, traveling buddies, compadres, connected at the hip in many ways on a daily basis. We do have our alone time - me to watch the Lakers lose by 40 in the Finals and Stace to email or do a yoga class or take a walk. But generally we are seldom apart. It is interesting this dynamic. Much more so than life before Fiji. When we'd wake up in the morning together, but go to work for 10+ hours, deal with other stimuli, frolic with the doggie, talk on the phone, see friends and then come back together in the evenings or the weekends. Its always.
We have our disagreements, or battles sometimes. Why are we doing that? Wouldn't it be better to do this? Some big ticket items, like to train or bus it? When do we leave Thailand for the next place? I don't care about Vietnam. But I do! But generally, in the 24/7 nature that is us, we tend to squabble over the little things. Why'd you get 2 bottles of water? They are heavy to carry. I don't know, I thought we'd need them. Or what hotel (I use the term loosely) are we going to? How about this one? No, lets keep walking. UGGGG. In these times it can be frustrating for sure. Easy to take sides and hold ground. Or, maybe give in but hold that as a grudge until dinner when the anger manifests itself into a pissed off remark or petty disagreement. There can be no denying it, we have had plenty of these episodes in the 4 months of our trip. Sometimes we handle them and communicate well and other times we aren't so graceful about it. I have learned a lot about myself with each and every setback. I realize I do judge. I do think there is a better way or more efficient matter to get somewhere. It eats at me when something goes against this 'obvious' way. But why? Isn't this trip about adventure? About being together through thick & thin, rolling with the punches the world throws and loving each other more than anything? Again, if everything went swimmingly, we wouldn't have a blog audience. All anybody remembers are the fights and and struggles. Who really cares about the beautiful Milford Sound? Do you even remember that blog?
I have become so much more aware of myself and what I am made of. What my tendencies are and when to push my beliefs and to defer to my better half. It really wasn't until today after a brilliant Thai massage (for $3 US!!) and visit to a Buddhist meditation site that I really want to be in tuned with this. To let go of the need to efficiency or the right way, whatever that is in my mind. I want to be satisfied with my lovely wife, with everything she does, what she chooses and what SHE wants. I have been guilty at times of judging her choices in the past as not as good as what I would have done or maybe given her a look or held a grudge when we got off the train at the wrong stop or temporarily misplaced some Baht (Thai $$). Why? The trip of life is about the adventure, the unknowns, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. Its about us and going at it together, with understanding and love. Compromise and deference. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger I believe.
I know what I will remember most about my trip around the world, my wife.
Its just...well, different some how. Don't get the wrong idea, its great. Different can be good too ya know. Traveling together on a 2 week vacation can be trying at times as I'm sure we all can confess too. So many decisions to make, details to plan for. A sun burn here gets us cranky, maybe worries about work back home get us riled, maybe someone wants to sleep in and the other wants to watch the Lakers get killed by 40 points in the Finals. You know what I'm saying. With all the good also come the tricky.
Its the tricky that make us work and make us think and make us concede and hopefully urge us to compromise. After all, if things were always pie in the sky great, life would be mundane perhaps, uninteresting? We all love it when things go our way of course, its fun! But how do we grow when that is always the case. What do we learn when we are not challenged by life? We are often best judged (I don't want to use that word, but) in difficult situations. "When the going gets tough, the tough get going". As for Stacy and my extended travels go, we have had unbelievable adventures and many moments of sheer bliss and excitement together. It has been remarkable and wonderful to do this now, in the way we have and to the places we've been.
As far as memories go for me, however, I may end up 20 years down the road, remembering this trip for what it did for my growth as a husband and friend of my wife. We are 24/7 together, traveling buddies, compadres, connected at the hip in many ways on a daily basis. We do have our alone time - me to watch the Lakers lose by 40 in the Finals and Stace to email or do a yoga class or take a walk. But generally we are seldom apart. It is interesting this dynamic. Much more so than life before Fiji. When we'd wake up in the morning together, but go to work for 10+ hours, deal with other stimuli, frolic with the doggie, talk on the phone, see friends and then come back together in the evenings or the weekends. Its always.
We have our disagreements, or battles sometimes. Why are we doing that? Wouldn't it be better to do this? Some big ticket items, like to train or bus it? When do we leave Thailand for the next place? I don't care about Vietnam. But I do! But generally, in the 24/7 nature that is us, we tend to squabble over the little things. Why'd you get 2 bottles of water? They are heavy to carry. I don't know, I thought we'd need them. Or what hotel (I use the term loosely) are we going to? How about this one? No, lets keep walking. UGGGG. In these times it can be frustrating for sure. Easy to take sides and hold ground. Or, maybe give in but hold that as a grudge until dinner when the anger manifests itself into a pissed off remark or petty disagreement. There can be no denying it, we have had plenty of these episodes in the 4 months of our trip. Sometimes we handle them and communicate well and other times we aren't so graceful about it. I have learned a lot about myself with each and every setback. I realize I do judge. I do think there is a better way or more efficient matter to get somewhere. It eats at me when something goes against this 'obvious' way. But why? Isn't this trip about adventure? About being together through thick & thin, rolling with the punches the world throws and loving each other more than anything? Again, if everything went swimmingly, we wouldn't have a blog audience. All anybody remembers are the fights and and struggles. Who really cares about the beautiful Milford Sound? Do you even remember that blog?
I have become so much more aware of myself and what I am made of. What my tendencies are and when to push my beliefs and to defer to my better half. It really wasn't until today after a brilliant Thai massage (for $3 US!!) and visit to a Buddhist meditation site that I really want to be in tuned with this. To let go of the need to efficiency or the right way, whatever that is in my mind. I want to be satisfied with my lovely wife, with everything she does, what she chooses and what SHE wants. I have been guilty at times of judging her choices in the past as not as good as what I would have done or maybe given her a look or held a grudge when we got off the train at the wrong stop or temporarily misplaced some Baht (Thai $$). Why? The trip of life is about the adventure, the unknowns, the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. Its about us and going at it together, with understanding and love. Compromise and deference. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger I believe.
I know what I will remember most about my trip around the world, my wife.
posted by Stacy @TheZenGirl at
6:28 PM
2 Comments:
I am incredibly touched and moved by your realizations, Andy, and with your unblinking honesty in sharing them with all of us. This, to me is what life is all about! It’s the beauty and the heartbreak and the digging into our own souls that ‘normal’ life often does not let us get a chance to experience. We’re too busy ‘doing’, and not taking enough time for ‘being’. In addition, you’re delving even further into the parts of the world where ‘being’ is a true way of life. As you bravely challenge yourselves and each other to open your hearts and minds even more to what is beyond our five senses, to visiting ashrams, temples, spending days in mediation and with yoga, my heart and thoughts are with you. With all of my love, Mom C
I am so proud of you, my son. You are indeed growing in your views and what is most important. I was so pleased to see those subtle changes in you when we were together in Australia. You have always been a loving and warm son and to see you transfer that love and understanding to your beautiful wife is indeed a wonderful thing to behold. Stay honest, stay loving, stay curious.
Love, Mom
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