The Dichotomy of Cambodia, Part I: Shattering our Souls

(Photo Album) Four days in the magical country of Cambodia both stole our hearts and shattered our souls. We crossed over the border from Vietnam in yet another bumpy bus to the capital city of Phnom Penh. The good, the bad and the ugly is the easiest way to describe the history of this tormented country, as evidenced in our hellish descent into Tuol Sleng.

In 1975, Pol Pot, the leader of the Khmer Rouge regime, turned this ordinary high school into Security Prison 21 (S-21), the largest center of detention and torture in the country. As Andy and I walked along the corridors, I couldn't help but imagine the scores of innocent men, women and children who were brutally tortured, raped and killed on these grounds. The checked floors and cream walls are awash with stains that I forced my mind to not visualize. Tears finally overflowed when I saw the thousands of black and white mugshots of the prisoners housed in cases with the reflection of the prison bars illuminated upon the glass. I wondered: if energy cannot be created or destroyed, does the energy from the thousands of prisoners remain within its walls today? Is that what I am feeling right now? It's a spooky thought to consider.


Next, our driver took us to the Killing Fields just outside Phnom Penh. Those who were not killed by torture at S-21 were later brutally executed at the Killing Fields of Choeung Ek by the devastating Khmer Rouge regime soldiers. As you might imagine it was an eerie experience for the two of us. This day was not for the weak hearted. Rising above the 120+ mass graves, we stood in front of a large stupa which serves as a memorial. Andy and I gaped at the 900 human skulls and clothes from the deceased which are housed inside. Meanwhile, I could hear joyful laughter from children at a nearby school. This is the conundrum of Cambodia. I wondered: are the children aware of these nearby atrocities? What demons must they face?


I instantly felt a warm compassion to the Cambodian people having had these experiences. I bought a krama and wore it every day thereafter in Cambodia. It's a checked scarf that many locals wear and is perfect for sun protection, dust protection, as a towel, as a bandage...anything. A sigh of relief washed over us as we drove away. This brutality could happen to any one of us.


It is no wonder the current government is corrupt. The Lonely Planet describes it aptly:

Democracy has been supplanted by kleptocracy, governance by theft and millions of dollars have been siphoned away in recent years...evictions and land grabs continue apace, with the rich getting richer and the poor getting screwed. Several communities have been kicked out of Phnom Penh and dumped unceremoniously in arid (or flooded) fields miles away from the city. Refugees within their own country, their fate remains uncertain...But despite this depressing diagnosis, life is improving for many Cambodians. The economy is booming thanks to tourism and investors. However, the progress is often despite the government and not because of it.

Coincedentally, the election is today. We'll see what happens.


We spent the rest of the evening exploring the city. It began to rain so we found shelter at the Lazy Gecko Cafe which happened to support a local orphanage. We discovered we could watch a movie of our choice in their movie room. And what do we pick out of 400 movies when all we've seen is crappy B movies on HBO on rare occasion? Yup, the Killing Fields. Somehow it wasn't overkill but rather therapeutic, bringing the day full circle.